5 Ways to Embrace Gratitude When You’re Not Feeling Thankful
The alarm awakened me at 5:00 a.m. Gene and I hurriedly dressed and jumped into the car to drive to the prison to spend the day with our son. An hour and forty minutes later we arrived.
I walked up to the entrance to check us in and was told that the Department of Corrections was initiating a new security system. The officer said, “It will take a little longer than usual to get through the in-take process before you can see your son.” We waited for a call in the parking lot—and three hours and 15 minutes later we were finally allowed to get in line.
Arrrrrgh! All patience was gone. My mind raced a mile-a-minute and negative thoughts swirled in my head:
- Could the Department of Corrections get any less efficient?
- Why do they write down every piece of jewelry I’m wearing when I enter, but they never check to see if I have that jewelry with me when I leave?
- The officer just denied entrance to a mom and her kids because their baby is wearing a T-shirt that has camouflage on it. Do they think an inmate is going to break out of prison in an infant’s clothing?
- I’ll just grit my teeth while the officer pats me down in a too-close-for-comfort invasion of my privacy.
I felt like a volcano that was ready to erupt. Looking up I saw one of the moms who was often in the visitation room when we were there. Before I could spew out a sarcastic remark, she calmly said, “Aren’t we grateful that we still get to visit our sons today, even though this time-consuming new in-take process will take a while to get set up?”
The smile on her face reflected joy and her comment expressed gratitude. I bit my lip and said, “Yes, it will be great to see our boys.”
And when I saw J.P. (Jason Paul), my irritation dissolved, and Gene and I had a joy-filled, encouraging visit with our son.
So, what does genuine gratitude look like? Thanksgiving is more than a holiday—it’s a posture of the heart. For us as Christians, it’s an opportunity to pause and intentionally reflect on God’s goodness and faithfulness, no matter our circumstances. The Bible calls us to cultivate gratitude as a daily practice, shaping our relationship with God and others.
In case you’re struggling with challenging circumstances right now, here are practical steps for giving thanks, grounded in Scripture, to help you live out genuine gratitude during this Thanksgiving season:
1. Reflect on God’s faithfulness.
Take time to remember God’s work in your life—His provision, grace, and presence in both joyful and challenging seasons.
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Psalm 107:1
Action Step: Write down three specific ways you’ve experienced God’s faithfulness this year. Thank Him for His unwavering goodness.
2. Praise God with joy.
Thanksgiving begins with worship. Praise God for who He is and what He has done.
“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” – Psalm 100:4
Action Step: Create a worship playlist filled with songs of gratitude. Spend time singing or reflecting on these songs as an act of thanksgiving.
3. Give thanks in all circumstances.
Gratitude isn’t reserved for easy times; it’s a choice we make even in trials—even while waiting over three hours in a prison parking lot!
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Action Step: Think of a difficult situation you’ve faced recently. Ask God to help you see His hand in it and thank Him for what you’ve learned or for how He sustained you.
4. Share your gratitude with others.
Expressing thankfulness can encourage those around you and deepen your relationships.
“Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Action Step: Write a note of gratitude to someone who has impacted your life. Let them know how God has used them to bless you.
5. Serve with a thankful heart.
Thanksgiving becomes real when it flows out of us through acts of love and service.
“Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17
Action Step: Find a way to serve others this Thanksgiving—whether it’s volunteering, donating to a special project at your church, helping a neighbor, or giving to a nonprofit organization. Do it with gratitude for God’s blessings in your life.
“God is faithful, but his faithfulness does not always look like success. God’s faithfulness might look like Joseph’s pit, or the years Joseph was in prison. Though He may allow tribulation in your life, He never leaves you or abandons you in that pit. Those are the times He draws closest. The times He adds His strength to your bowed down heart.”
~Tessa Afshar
Question: What are you grateful for right now? What hard thing are you facing as you go through the holidays? How can I pray for you? I look forward to reading your comments.
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I was in an accident a week ago with my little kids after losing our hot water. Last night my son’s oldest was in an accident and we are now headed into the holiday season on the struggle bus with finances.
My mental health is suffering and we are facing a ton of warfare as our ministry project creeps forward. It is draining energy and it’s hard to remember to be thankful when you feel constantly attacked and like you are drowning in it all.
Big hugs, Donna. I am sorry.
I’m so thankful for you and Gene, and your ministry. Your determined obedience to God strengthens my own. It’s REAL encouragement. Thank you for being faithful to God in the difficulty life has brought to you. It TRULY makes a difference in my own life.
I needed to read this today. We lost my dad in March and my 83 year old mom has been living with me. She has a cat that was with us as well. Every time I opened the door to her room I wanted to go through the roof because the cat made the room smell horrible. I would get so angry thinking that she’s ruining my things. I had to keep telling myself it’s only stuff and to be thankful that I still have my mom. I pray for a thankful and pure heart so I can encourage others even in hard times. Your story has been an encouragement to me. May God bless you richly!
Thank you for this as I am walking through a very difficult family situation, as are so many others. These action steps are not only helpful but necessary.
Those are compelling words to embrace. We are a world that, I believe, lives for oneself and not for the greater good. We have misplaced the teachings of Jesus of love and concern for the people we encounter each day. For those who are hurting, may God give you comfort.
Would love prayers fir my husband who is struggling with lots of emotional things. Negative thoughts, bitterness, anger. Hard for him to truly be grateful. Struggling with depression.
Thank you
I am thankful for God’s creation’s beauty, power and grandeur.
Prayer? My son and daughter-in-law are going through a heartache. Pray for the presence of the Lord to sustain them.
As usual, it’s your raw vulnerability that captures our hearts and makes us open to the truths you share. Thank you, Carol. I’m applying this message TODAY!
I follow you because my son is also in prison. He was 18 and it destroyed him and his twin. Now as the holidays always get closer I become numb and sad because I don’t have a way to visit daily. Yet I remain in faith and am thankful foe phone calls and visits when I can, and emails and pictures. I give God all the glory. Although it’s still hard I know I’m blessed and so very thankful. Thanks for this today.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder, I have endured a lot this year from an our prodigal still being so far from us, and still not coming home. My 20 year marriage coming to an end. And a failed suicide attempt earlier this year. It has been a hard year and yet I celebrate that I’m here today because I have to believe that God has a plan for my life! I am thankful.
I am thankful for a roof over my head as the news shows others who do not have houses in many countries.lLocally there are 240 homeless children of school age in my central New York City. A homeless woman wept when I gave her a twenty.There by the grace of God there goes us.
I struggle with grumbling and complaining just like the Israelites did. Yet my heart knows God and who He is, so I have been convicted this season with giving thanks instead of complaining. I really wish I could be like the lady who counteracted your aggravation with praise but truthfully it does not come natural at all. So please pray for me to be humbled by the fact that God does not like for us to be miserably grumpy with everything and everybody. So I ask Him to help me to please Him instead of griping about my discomforts and inconveniences. Thank you for this reminder of how I can do that.
Also, I too have a son in prison for a very long time. We presently have a motion for an early release b fire the judge based on the laws changing. He has had it since March 26th. Please God. Soften the Judge’s heart to grant this motion. 16 years already and 16 more seems unbearable. Please help me to give thanks in this circumstance knowing God is working it all out for His good and perfect purpose. Amen.
My nephew was incarcerated some years ago. He got out by God’s mercy and prayer. Nothing is impossible with Him! ❤️ G
I continue to pray for you.
I love this, Carol. You sure do make me feel at home with your vulnerability here. I’ve lost some skin on my lips before doing the same:):) Ha! So many of my favorite scriptures here all in one blog. These I’ve clung to over the years with the great loss I’ve experienced. I have a gratitude journey of my own. God is so, so good. Yes, I’m not necessarily thankful FOR all things (since some of it’s been pure evil), but I am thankful IN all things for sure. I miss my sweet daughter the most from October (her heavenly and earthly birthday month) – December. Although she’s with Jesus and her daddy in heaven, I’m thankful God chose me to be her mama in the short almost 15 years she was here with me. I’m most grateful for the ability to have an intimate relationship with my Savior because out of that intimacy flows revelation … and the longing to be obedient to Him because of HOW MUCH He loves me. Please pray that I can share that kind of love with others through the Holidays and beyond.
Thanks Carol,
What a blessing, this is what I needed this morning. I’m trying to be thankful everywhere I go. This will be the first Holidays without my husband who is enjoying life with God. I am trying to encourage those at work who are going through the same thing I did with my husband and my dad. He died a month after my husband. I love your action steps, I will read this devotion again and again and again. Thanks! May God bless you and your family.
Carol, I was so encouraged by your article. Giving thanks and claiming God’s promises fill me with JOY. Thanks for sharing your journey with JP. Happy holidays to you and Gene.