Hello Friends,
This will be a different kind of Christmas for us. The diagnosis entered our story uninvited—in early December: inoperable pancreatic cancer, metastasized to the liver. My sister. Our sister. The sibling we call “the fun one” who always makes us laugh and enters a room with a huge smile and a generous dose of mischief. Her dynamic enthusiasm can chase away any shadow. Her presence is one of Jason’s favorite surprises at prison visitation.
The oncologist says Paula may have a very short time to live, but we still believe in a miracle-working God. Our family—five sisters and one brother—has drawn together in profound ways, surrounding Paula with love while clinging to God’s promises
How do you find thankfulness when your heart is breaking?
Yet here we are, in the season celebrating Emmanuel—God with us—discovering that gratitude doesn’t require the absence of pain. It requires the presence of faith.
This Christmas, we’re learning what it means to be truly thankful.
We’re thankful for time—not the quantity we wish we had, but the sacred quality of every remaining moment. Each conversation carries weight now. Each “I love you” echoes with intention. Paul reminds us to “make the most of every opportunity” (Ephesians 5:16), and suddenly we understand why.
We’re thankful for perspective—cancer has stripped away what doesn’t matter. The petty disagreements, the material concerns, the endless pursuit of more—all of it fades when you’re facing what’s truly important. “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4:14). We’re learning to live like we believe this.
We’re thankful for hope beyond the horizon. Our sister’s earthly story may be shorter than expected, but her eternal story is just beginning. “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). This isn’t denial—it’s the audacious faith that death doesn’t get the final word.
Five Ways to Find Meaning When Life Shatters:
- Create lasting memories.
Record stories, voices, laughter. Write letters to future generations. Capture the legacy that outlasts the diagnosis. These become treasures that testify to lives well-lived.
- Practice radical presence.
Put away devices. Cancel the unnecessary. Sit together in silence or conversation. The gift of your full attention is priceless when time is finite.
- Speak truth and love lavishly.
Say the things you’ve left unsaid. Forgive quickly. Express gratitude specifically. Let there be no words left unspoken that need to be heard.
- Anchor in eternal promises.
Read Scripture together. Pray boldly. Worship even through tears. “We do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
- Serve others from your pain.
Your suffering can become someone else’s strength. Share your story. Encourage another family walking this road. Let your faith in the fire become a light for others.
The Challenge:
This Christmas, whatever hard things you’re facing—illness, loss, disappointment, shattered dreams or incarcerated loved ones—dare to believe that gratitude and grief can coexist. That joy isn’t the absence of sorrow, but the presence of Jesus in the midst of it.
Jason joins us is thanking you for your many prayers for our family this year. His ministry of teaching, mentoring, equipping, and encouraging inmates continues to transform lives behind bars. If you’d like to support his work with a tax-deductible year-end gift, please visit www.speakupforhope.org.
This week let’s celebrate the birth of the One who conquered death. And when pain threatens to overwhelm, remember: the first Christmas happened in a stable, to an unwed mother, in an occupied land.
God always specializes in bringing hope from impossible circumstances.
He’s still doing it today.
Even now. Especially now.
Question: How will you celebrate Christmas this year? How can I pray for you?
Thank you for this timely message on gratitude, even in the midst of tragedy. Your love and encouraging outreach through trials has been a great source of encouragement.
No matter what the diagnosis—health, relationship, financial, injustice—we have much to be grateful for, and we can choose to let gratitude fuel our attitude and the choices we make.
God bless you and all of your family
Embracing you and yours in prayer, sister. And holding close God’s promises and the practical ways you suggested to live them out
Our family is facing a difficult Christmas and these words arrived just in time to help us. I’m heartbroken that they came at such a great cost to you.
Emmanuel forever,
Nikki S.White
Carol, In all the pain that you and Gene have experienced , you continue to minister to us. I am eternally grateful for you. Dru King
Carol you and your family will be in my prayers for healing and hope. Cherish the time you are given and trust in the Lord that is my prayer. I love reading your posts. You are a true servant of the one true God.
Merry Christmas ❤️
Dear Carol and family,
My deepest deepest condolences. Life sure can throw us curve balls when we least expect it. But with Jesus we are not alone and He gives us the strength to plow through tough times. My son too was in prison he’s out now but now in a different kind of prison. He says life was easier behind bars.
I am so sorry you are facing this now. But you are not alone.
Love and prayers
Monica Nordyke
What a blessed devotional. Thank you for your encouraging words. It’s amazing to me that in the midst of heartbreak you are able to encourage others. That’s real faith. I have two sisters. Although we do squabble at times, I cannot imagine my life without them. I pray that God would undergird you and your family as you go through this process. I pray that your sister, who is ill, will rise up in faith and not be afraid. I pray that Jesus would perform a miracle if it is his will to keep her on this earth. May God bless you this holiday season. Thank you sis. Keep the faith! ❤️ Gina
I’m so sorry to read this….I know the pain when given those words “not much time left” but in it all, we know God is with us. My Pastor once said, of another pastors wife when she passed….”God chose to HEAL her, by taking her HOME” and that was such a beautiful thought. It brought comfort to me, even though my Mom had passed 36 years earlier…I don’t think there is a greater love or healing, than to be home, in the arms of OUR FATHER. My sincerest condolances, love & respect. Melodee
When we celebrate Christmas with my side of the family that normally means 18 plus people staying at my house. With my dad on hospice this year we will be spending it in an Air BnB near him. I will still get to see all my siblings and enjoy seeing my nieces and nephews. My oldest will not get back from S.Korea, so it will be the first Christmas I spend without her as well. It will be a very different Christmas. The first one spent with my family and not my mom (as last Christmas I spent time with my in-laws). It will be different, but we will be enjoying moments together. Laughing, playing games, and just being together. I am looking forward to it.
I’m so sorry! I appreciate you reaching out and reminding us what truly matters, even in this time that most would find devastating! Much love to you and your entire family
Thank you, Carol,
These were beautiful and absolutely perfect suggestions for facing the potential loss of a loved one. Grief and gratitude can coexist. As we cling to Jesus, we can give praise for the gift of shared lives and knowing we will share eternity together.
Praying for your family and for Paula .
Thank you so much for sharing this very painful time with such encouraging words. Yours and Jason’s lives are such an encouragement to us as we too have failed and are seeking ways to follow the Lord in the way He directs.
Please pray for my family,my sister is not well and I’m not either.My Jason doesn’t talk to my sister,he needs to repent,his wife is not a Christian and my husband has dementia,prayers for Paula and your whole family.love you ❤️
I’m going thru a divorce and am learning that God’s presence is there always! Please pray that it goes smoothly. I will get divorced on February 17 th, 2026. We have an appraisal on our house on Dec. 30 at 10 am this year. Please pray that goes well. And Carol I love and enjoy reading your books! They give me so much hope and love!! Thank you for writing them! ❤️
Thank you for this post. You have such a way with words. I’m so sorry about your sister and will be praying for her. Wishing you more quality time and special moments with your sweet sister! ~ Jill in Tennessee
You are such a blessing to those of us who are walking the same path as you and your son. Your books, your words are a light to the soul. My prayers are with you all especially your sister during this time of uncertainty. May God bless you all.
Thank you for emphasizing that joy can reside next to pain and sorrow because of our ever present Savior! We will be spending our first Christmas Day at Northwest Florida Regional Reception Center (prison) where our son lives for now. Christmas dinner out of vending machines ( if they work or aren’t empty). But just being with him for 4-5 hours will be worth the 3.5 hour drive one way, to hug him, cheer him, and share love and stories of Christmas past. I wrote to Jason on his birthday and bless his heart, he wrote back (on Securus e-messaging) and gave encouraging advice to our son, which I passed on. Our son is a strong believer, too, but has not found any like-minded community yet.He has to work on chapel day. Thankfully, he faithfully has his own quiet time, Bible reading and journaling early every morning. That plus calling his wife and kids twice a day, and us a couple times a week is his sanity lifeline. All still new to him and us. I’ve read two if your books, Carol, and received so much from them! We live in Gainesville and hope someday to meet you, perhaps at a Florida Cares advocacy gathering!
May God bless your family as you grieve your sister’s diagnosis. Adding our prayers, Linda Searby
Oh, Carol….I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I, too, come from a family of 5 sisters and one brother (he’s the baby) so your story hit my heart. We have not had to face a death of a sibling yet and I can’t imagine how hard that must be. Thank you for preparing me for what is inevitably ahead. In the midst of your grief, may the Lord give you glimpses of His love, joy for each moment and hope for the future. So glad Jesus came! Have a blessed Christmas.
Oh, Miss Carol! I am grieving for you and yet greatly encouraged and challenged by your message!
Thank you for sharing this with us. It feels like a sacred weight we can help carry. We will be lifting your sister & the whole family up in prayer through this season.
Lord, please let a flood of grace flow over this dear sister and her family. May every precious moment together be savored deeply. Thank You that our limited time here on earth will merely slip into the unlimited joy of eternity with You! Help us live as little children in great anticipation of our glorious, heavenly reunion to come.
Much love and thanks,
Pam
Dear, dear Carol,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you walk this journey together. Thank you for the reminder to live life intentionally, anchored in God’s eternal promises. May He lavish His peace, hope, and comfort on you in unexpected and unmeasurable ways.
Know you are loved.
Merry Chistmas Carol. Thank you for sharing and processing life with us so intimately. I’m praying for your family. None of us know when our last day on earth is and 100% we’re all going to face it. Praise God your family is so connected to our heavenly father. That brings such a peace as we navigate and wait and “live” until it’s our turn. But while we wait, we need to bring more to the kingdom because it’s going to be glorious and that’s exactly what you do and I praise God for you! Hopefully you’re taking a rest and just feeling the love right now! May God wrap you in his loving arms and hold you tight
Thank you for your very meaningful message. You are a blessing! Will be praying with you concerning your sister. Be still and know that I God. Take care Blessings! Christine from Maine