She came into this world with big, bright eyes, fine silky hair, a contagious smile, and an unmistakable ability to bring sunshine into any room she entered. We called her “Foo Foo,” because when she arrived, celebration and joy were never far behind.
It’s only been a few days since we said “Goodbye for now” to our beloved sister Paula Afman Brunsting. After a courageous battle with stage four pancreatic cancer, she stepped out of this world and into the next. She is finally free from pain. And if I know my sister, she is already making heaven a little louder and a little more fun.
Paula was born with a big personality. She loved wholeheartedly, dressed in a “delightfully flamboyant way” that turned heads everywhere she went, and made everyone in the room feel important. She survived loss, betrayal, and heartbreak, and she climbed out of every hard season with her smile intact. That smile was a gift from God.
In her final days our youngest sister Joy sat at Paula’s side. As she stirred awake, Paula said softly, “You know what? As I was waking up, I heard myself saying, ‘Hi Mom!'”
She was already greeting heaven.
We grieve today—deeply and honestly. But we do not grieve without hope. Because of Jesus, that hope is not wishful thinking. It is a promise.
5 Reasons We Have Hope
- Jesus conquered death.
Paula’s death is not the end of her story. “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live” (John 11:25). Because Jesus walked out of that tomb, Paula’s story continues. The grave does not get the final word. Jesus does.
- Heaven is a real place.
Scripture describes heaven as a prepared place, a physical home, a city built by God Himself. Paula, who loved beauty, color, and celebration, is experiencing the most magnificent version of all of it right now.
- The welcome committee is waiting.
We are envisioning Paula meeting Jesus face to face, embracing our mom and dad, and reuniting with her precious son Tony, who left for heaven at age 27. Paul wrote, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). Paula didn’t lose—she gained. The people we love most are not gone. They are simply home before us.
- Our suffering is temporary, but heaven is eternal.
Watching someone you love suffer is one of the hardest experiences a family can endure. But Scripture assures us: “The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:18). Randy Alcorn writes, “The Christian life should be more affected by our destination than by anything else.” Our destination is glory—and Paula has arrived.
- We will see each other again.
When I think of Paula, I think of her smile. When it’s my turn to leave this world, after greeting Jesus face to face, one of the first faces I’ll look for will be hers. “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying” (Revelation 21:4). Goodbye isn’t forever. For believers, it’s only “see you soon.”
To My Pretty Foo Foo
Paula Sue, you were custom designed by God to be in our family because He knew how much we would need the sunshine of your smile. You made everyone feel important, gave generously, and showed us how to survive the unsurvivable and still smile on the other side. You loved our son J.P., faithfully visiting him and investing in his life before and after his incarceration. He is better for knowing his Auntie Foo Foo.
Your absence has left a vacuum nothing else will fill. But I am holding tightly to this truth: you are not gone. You are gloriously, perfectly, joyfully alive, more alive than you have ever been.
I love you so much. We’ll be together again soon.
“God never said the road would be easy, but He said
He’d be with us. And at the end of that road is not
darkness—it is home.” Randy Alcorn
Question: If Paula’s story has stirred something in your heart today—about heaven, about hope, about the people you love—please share it below. Your words may be exactly what someone else needs to read today.
From Sandusky- Paula did make an impact in high school her good looks, her style, her abilities to speak, and at church I remember her beautiful alto voice singing out. I remember all of your family from back in the day, but losing touch after your parents moved to Pastor someplace else. My grandmother was the church organist for decades. I can still see Paula’s long hair. I’m sorry for your loss but really it’s heavens gain.
Thank you, Kathy. I was in college when my dad was the pastor in Sandusky, MI. What precious friends we still have in that church. I appreciate your note.
Carol I am forever in awe of your ability to bring Jesus into everything. I truly see Him in you and my hope is ever renewed. Thank you for always glorifying our Savior in the midst of the most painful situations. I can imagine what a hardship her passing is for you with her being such a light of encouragement during all that your family has gone through. It sounds like you could always count on her unconditional love. I will be one of many praying for you to receive the same encouragment you have given to so many of us over the years- pressed down, shaken, and poured out in special measure for you. ❤️
Nicole, I deeply appreciate this uplifting and encouraging message. Thank you for your ongoing prayers.
Oh, Carol, I am sorry for your loss! May you experience Jesus presence in a mighty powerful way! May you feel Jesus loving arms around you, giving you HIS love, His comfort and His peace! Didn’t your sister Paula come with you or spoke also at a Bible League Conference in Michigan? I might be mistaken, but I think I remember something about Paula! You have a wonderful ministry! Keep up the good work! May Jesus be by your side through all of this!
Thank you for your uplifting note, Sue. It’s very possible that Paula was with me when I spoke at the Bible League Conference in Michigan. Over the years, my precious sisters have been very supportive. Have a blessed day!
I sent this to a cousin, who just lost her brother this week, for comfort. Thank you for articulating God’s truth about death so well. There’s abundant comfort in that.
I’m praying for your cousin as I write this note. And you are so right–there is great comfort in knowing this world is not our final home.
Yes it has. Love my sisters better. BTW-You have your sister’s beautiful smile. She’ll always be with you. ❤️ G
Gina, you are such an encouragement! What a reunion awaits all of us who know Him when we get to heaven.
I weep for your sweet Foo Foo, for your family, and for all the people in my life who have gone onto glory.
This is not the end. It’s only the beginning. Lord Jesus, comfort our broken hearts that feel stuck in the middle. Bind up our wounds and let us rest in Your loving arms.
Nikki, what a great reminder–this is not the end; it’s only the beginning. We have hope, even when we experience loss, because Jesus lives!
Carol,
My heart hurts for you as you mourn for your sister. Your words painted such a beautiful picture of her. And your essay on death and loss is so comforting and hope-filled. I have been through the loss of both parents, my husband’s parents, and a beloved step-dad. All of them spent their final days at home in hospice. We were with each of them 24/7 , through to the end. It is a grueling and agonizing experience to have a prolonged good-bye and watch the deep suffering. But, it is also a time of sharing deep and honest conversations, sweet memories, and the truest love. And to witness their final passage feels like standing on Holy ground. It is a sacred gift that you never forget. Your words have given me deep comfort. As time passes the grief dulls and the mourning becomes bearable but we never stop remembering and longing for one more hug, one more chat, and one more “see you tomorrow “. Thank you for the beautiful reminder that we all have that day to look forward to. Praying for you and your family as you are in this very sad season. Lu Ann M
Lu Ann, your comment touched me deeply. Thank you for your powerful prayers for our family. We miss our sister, but we will see her again!
Carol, You were given a gift of words and your beautiful testimony to your sister, Paula is one of the most heartfelt I have ever read. She was loved and she was blessed to be in a family such as yours. Thank you for sharing her with us. Her smile will be remembered.
Dru, your note is a great encouragement to me today. I have always felt blessed to have lots of sisters–4! What a sacred privilege it was to spend time together as we ministered to Paula. Yes, her smile will definitely be remembered.
I think of the thin line between life and death as you described here with Paula. It’s the dearest reminder of heaven’s hope. It gives me hope today as I worry and wonder about world events around us. You’ve reminded me our home in heaven is daily because life has no guarantees. Thank you for sharing this journey, Carol. Your faithfulness to the gospel is always life giving.
Your words are a comforting reminder of “the thin line between life and death” being the dearest reminder of heaven’s hope. There’s a great future ahead for all of us who know Jesus. Brenda, thank you for your encouraging friendship through many years. Sending love and hugs, Carol
Carol, what a beautiful tribute to your sister. It hits me deeply as I’ve been blessed with 3 sisters. Thank you for writing about the hope of heaven. It’s everything. I have a dear friend ‘close to heaven’ and her family needs these reminders. Love you and grieving for/with you.
Marlae, how wonderful to hear from you! What great memories we share. Thank you for your faithfulness in ministry over many years. I’m praying for your friend who is close to heaven as I write this note. Blessings to you and your family!
Dearest Carol (and Jennie, Bonnie, and Joy) – Thank you for sharing Paula’s life with us in this way, as well in as the photos you posted on Facebook. I wish I had known her, but I will one day! I have books I wish to donate to SpeakUp for Hope in her memory, to be used in the care boxes you provide for the families of inmates. Holding you close in these days of mourning while sharing your hope of heaven. Much love!
Dear Maggie…thank you for your meaningful note here and for the lovely card you sent. Your kind and encouraging words are a blessing to me and to my sisters. You are a blessing!
Thank you, dear Maggie! The families of inmates will love your books, and I want to thank you for the most meaningful note you sent me personally. It meant to much. (You are like a sister, dear friend).
I am a Christian who believes in the promise of heaven. I do know that when someone suffers death is the ultimate healing. But I am human and grieving the loss of my mother. Going through her home, her clothes, her multitude of family pictures, seeing her smiling face, etc. all while knowing she is not coming back is so heartbreaking. I pray for everyone who has to adjust to this earthly life without a loved one.
Thank you for this comforting comment, Marcia! I’m praying for you as you continue to grieve the loss of your mother.
Praying for you and your sisters and her husband and all of your families at this time of joy for Paula and deep loss for you! Parting is always so difficult, but knowing that she sees her Savior face to face is our comfort! “ What a Day that will be when my Savior I will see!” May God uphold and comfort you as He alone can!
Thank you for all that you do to spread the love of Christ, dear cousin.
Dear Kathy…your note means so much to me, especially because you have experienced great loss. As I read your post and came to the song, “What a day that will be when my Savior I will see…,” I smiled. That was one of our mother’s favorite songs and we sang it often as a family. I can still hear her beautiful alto voice singing the harmony as we gathered around the piano. It brings me great joy that Paula is now with Jesus, her son Tony, and with Mom and Dad Afman. What a glorious reunion! Much love to you and your sisters, sweet cousin!
Thank you Carol!
My heart goes out to you and your family. The words you wrote were a testimony of praise to our Heavenly Father and a beautiful tribute to your sister. May the God of all Comfort wrap His loving arms around you and your family during this season.
Teresa, What a lovely note! Thank you for kind and caring message. You encouraged me today!
My sincere condolences for the passing of your sister Paula.
Dear Marlene…so good to hear from you! Thank you for your note and for your many prayers for us and for Jason through the years. You are a blessing to our family.
Oh Carol, I am so very sorry for the vacuum Paula’s departure creates for your sweet your family! But oh, I do celebrate her promotion to glory with you.
I have more experience than I prefer in watching loved ones suffer and struggle, and yet I have learned, through it all HOPE never falters. HOPE is ours to hold onto; no one can take it from our hearts.
So yes, may you find comfort in the Hope of being reunited one day with your FOO-FOO and your mom. For we know Christ is our HOPE. ❤️
Tracy…your encouraging notes always bless me! Thank you for taking the time to lift my spirits today. Yes, indeed–CHRIST IS OUR HOPE!
Your words so resonate with me. i just walked through being a palliative nurse with my best friend from high school. She was my maid of honour, my matron of divorce and maid of honour again. We were partners raising our children as our partners were absent. To walk through the valley of the shadow of death with a loved one is such an honour. To listen for their last breath on earth and their first in heaven is an experience that leaves a huge imprint on my life. What a day of rejoicing when my Jesus I shall see. When I look upon His face .:….
Karen, I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your best friend. What a joy it is to have supportive friends who are with us in the best of times and the worst of times. I’m sure you were a great encouragement to each other. Thank you for your powerful post and for your prayers.
God’s timing. This was a beautiful tribute to your sister and exactly the encouragement I needed today. Today would have been my mother’s birthday, but she went to be with Jesus a few years ago. I still miss her immensely every day, but I’m comforted knowing she is no longer in pain and she is with her Maker, rejoicing in that beautiful voice and smiling that beautiful smile. Thank you for sharing your heart. It has touched mine.
Beautifully said.
Thank you, Robin!
THANK YOU, dear Carol for this beautiful blog honoring Paula,, and turning our gaze toward Heaven. What a precious reunion it will be! I love you, Sis.
And back at ya, sis! What a privilege it has been to walk our sister, Paula, home–heart wrenching and beautiful at the same time. Thank you for all you did to bless her in so many ways. Love you!
Carol and family,
You make me tear up and brighten my day all at the same time!!! I continue praying for you, Bonnie, Jennie, Joy, JP, other family members and your brother-in-law Dave. What a wonderful tribute to your sister, Paula, and through it, I feel like I’ve met her. And YES, you do have her smile!!! Even through grief your beautiful gift of words point our eyes and thoughts toward Jesus, our Savior, His hope and all that awaits us in heaven.
May God wrap His loving, comforting, arms around you all. God Bless You and Thank-You for all that you do and all those you help throigh your words, spoken and written!
Lynn, what a LOVELY, encouraging note. We definitely feel “held up” by the prayers of God’s people. You blessed me today!
Thank you Carol…
I’m praying our great Comforter will surround you, Foo Foo’s husband and your whole family. So thankful we have the hope of Heaven!
I’m a great grandmother and although in great health, I think of Heaven almost every day! It will be more glorious than any of us can imagine!
Love and prayers to you all.
Awaiting His Return!
Susan
Thank you, Susan! It is a blessing to contemplate the joy that awaits us in heaven. What a grand reunion!
I am so sorry for your loss, Carol. I, too, have four sisters. I can only imagine the pain of losing one of them.
Please express my condolences to your family.
Thank you, Sheila. I didn’t realize that you are one of five sisters, too. I will pass your condolences on to my family.
Saying those goodbyes are so difficult, but watching those you love suffer is heartbreaking. I was with my sister and step-daughter as they each took their last breath here on earth. But I can be so thankful that both of them knew Jesus as their Savior and we will also be reunited someday in Heaven, just as you will be reunited with your sister. We can’t begin to imagine the joy that they are having right now in Heaven. What a great reunion day we will have! But just to imagine worshiping at the feet of Jesus brings me to tears! We have the assurance of this glorious day!
Flo, I’m so sorry about the loss of your sister and step-daughter. I can only imagine what an encouragement they were to you. All of us who know Him have a great reunion in heaven ahead of us. Thanks for your note.
Dear Carol, my sympathy and caring are with you – I appreciate your eulogy about her, so beautiful to read.
I lost my husband/son/Sister over the last few years and now I am Praying for a close friend who is struggling with her health. She is in God’s care now – I am reading a true story about Mary C. Neil MD’s life “To Heaven and Back” I am sinking into the book and finding it good and helpful to read – I am sure you have heard of it -an encouraging book.
Thank you Carol for sharing about your loving sister. My Prayers are with you.
Blessings, and caring Love ❤️
Veronica
Thanks so much for your note. I’m so sorry about your losses. I can only imagine the grief you have experienced. I pray that you will continue to experience God’s presence and His peace.
Praying for you all as you journey through this time of grief and glory. What a miraculous gift to know she’s ‘not gone—but more alive than she’s ever been!’
What a beautiful tribute. I wish I could have met her, but I guess I still can someday!
May we all abound in that beautiful, certain hope.
Romans 15:13
Much love from Idaho
Pam, what a lovely note! I love how you expressed the powerful words–grief and glory. So often in life the two are mixed together as we live in a fallen world where we face challenges of all sorts. Have a blessed day, my friend!