My father lived to age 89, but my grandpa passed away when my dad was only 16, leaving him to take over the family meat processing business almost overnight. I always thought Dad was a bit too strict and much too harsh as a disciplinarian, but considering his difficult upbringing, he did well with what he had. And somewhere along the way, he led the man who became my husband to Jesus. But that’s a story for another blog.
Whether your father was your hero, your complicated history, or your greatest source of both laughter and tears, he shaped you. And if you’re raising children with a man who loves them well, that story is still being written. Let’s take a moment to honor the dads in our lives, past and present, imperfect and beloved.
What God Says About Fatherhood
“He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their father.” Malachi 4:6 (NIV)
God designed fathers to be anchors, not perfect anchors, but present ones. The very heart of the gospel is framed in the language of a Father who pursues, welcomes, and runs toward the returning child. When earthly fathers reflect even a fraction of that love, something holy happens in a family.
What Makes a Dad Great?
It’s rarely what the greeting cards celebrate. It’s the quiet, consistent things:
- He shows up, for recitals, games, hard conversations, and 2 a.m. worries.
- He says “I love you” even when it’s awkward, because love is worth the awkward.
- He apologizes when he’s wrong, teaching his children that strength and humility go hand in hand.
- He prays over his family, even if quietly, even if no one sees.
- He laughs loudly, often at his own jokes. (His children will roll their eyes and remember those moments forever.)
- He points his family toward the Lord, even when his own faith is still growing.
They Did Their Best in Their Own Time
Our fathers were raised in a different world. Many grew up in households where love was shown through sacrifice and provision, not words and emotional availability. Men were told to be strong, and being strong meant not falling apart.
Frederick Buechner wrote, “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” Many of our fathers carried both the beautiful and the terrible without a single tool to process it. They gave us what they had.
That doesn’t excuse wounds that need healing. But it makes room for grace, the same grace we ask God to extend to us. Max Lucado put it beautifully: “Grace is the voice that calls us to change and then gives us the power to pull it off.” Perhaps the change grace is calling some of us toward is a softening of our hearts toward Dad.
Ways to Honor the Fathers in Your Life
Whether you’re honoring a living father, a father-figure, or a husband raising your children, here are ways to make this Father’s Day count:
- Write him a letter (not a text). A real, handwritten letter telling him what he’s meant to you.
- Say something specific. Not just “You’re a great dad!” Tell him why. Specificity is love made visible.
- Pray for him out loud. There is nothing more honoring than hearing someone pray for you by name, with tenderness — in person, by phone, or over Zoom.
- Share a memory. Pull out an old photo. Tell a story. Let him know his life left a mark.
- Give him your time—Not just a card, but your actual, unhurried presence.
- Honor him, even if his chair is empty. Light a candle. Share a memory at dinner. Grief and gratitude can live in the same breath.
To the Dads Reading This
You are seen. You are needed. Your presence matters more than you know. Keep showing up, keep loving imperfectly and persistently. The world needs fathers who are willing to stay in the room.
On the days you wonder if you’re doing it right, remember Psalm 103:13: “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.” (NIV) You are loved by the Perfect Father. And He is with you in this.
Question: Whether your dad is still with you or you’re honoring his memory this June — what’s one word you’d use to describe him? Drop it in the comments and let’s fill this space with the words of men who mattered. And if you’d like to share more: what’s one thing your father taught you, in words or by example, that you’re still carrying with you today?
Registered attendees can share Speak Up Conference June 2–5 for the chance to win one bundled prize featuring a $250 Amazon gift card and an author book bundle.
He was sweet. And the only one who called me sweetheart. I miss him greatly.
I love that he called you “Sweetheart.”
Unconditional love was my “Daddy”. He was an earthly example that helped me to understand who my “ABBA Father “ is. When I studied the Names of God and I came upon ABBA Father and it explained that He was “my Daddy”…. I immediately thought I know and understand that. I ve experienced a daddy’s love and care. His love was a tiny example of the greatness of Gods love., a “ Daddys “ love
Thank you for this beautiful story, Jan. How priceless it is to be able to understand the the love of our Abba Father because of a poignant example in an earthly father.
Gave good advice. Loved his granddaughters much
What a blessing it is to get good advice from our father!
Too young and immature. He was my stepfather, the only father I knew. My biological father abandoned me and my 18 year old mother when I was born. She then married my stepfather when she was 20 and pregnant again. All of the most important people in my life were far too young. I have 4 younger sisters and we lost the man I called Daddy when he was 31 years old. He was an alcoholic and abusive, fun and smart and worked all the time to keep a roof over our heads. It was too much responsibility for a young couple. They did what they could, my Mom was depressed most all the time, my Dad was unfaithful and it was a very dysfunctional home for myself and my sisters. But as I have grown older I recognize their youth and that they put themselves in an untenable situation with responsibilities beyond their abilities to cope. My true and everlasting father was always with me but I didn’t recognize Him and the protection He gave me until my life slowed down and I could reflect back on it all. So, I have had 2 flawed earthly fathers but I really have just my one Father in heaven whom I am grateful for every day. I am blessed.
Oh, Leanne, I’m so sorry about all of the pain you’ve experienced throughout much of your life, but I’m rejoicing that you have a personal relationship with the Father who will never leave you or forsake you. Thank you for your comment.
I confess I read this post with a bit of wistfulness. Much as I loved my dad – a good, honest man and a hard worker – he was none of the things listed above under “What makes a dad great?” However, he was a Christian, and he was faithful to my mom and our family even if he couldn’t express his emotions or demonstrate that he was ever proud of me. I was proud of him and our family name, though, and still am. I am very thankful that my husband of 50 years is each of these things and more! Thank you for the thoughtful post, Carol. I recall hearing some wonderful stories of how your father blessed each of you six “kids” and your families at your last big reunion together.
My dad was a very difficult man in so many ways when I was growing up; however, he must have done the main thing right! All 6 of his children are living for Jesus. I am so very thankful for his influence in that area of my life!
My dad would tell me ” Don’t talk bad about yourself” he would tell me to respect who I am as a person. My dad also told me to not say sorry unless there was a reason to do so , he felt the word sorry was misused should only be said when it’s necessary.